Adventures in Depression.

In the spirit of Mental Health Day, a sketch about the journey of depression from Hyperbole and a half. Relatable and hilarious.

The Curious Incident.

After an eventful Monday night at tiki bar Mahiki in Green Park, a slow afternoon in West London was much needed. Getting into Paddington early afternoon we walked our usual circuit around Piccadilly to Trafalgar Square and over to Covent Garden. 

We snooped around Somerset House looking at the installation for London Fashion Week and went to the elBulli exhibition, which was awesome. 

This was an installation when a dining table was projected onto a table showing each plate being served, enjoyed and removed. The content of the exhibition was really interesting and something that i do not usually have an interest in, however the way this exhibition was constructed and displayed was amazing.

Attempting to use my new telephoto lens, to the best of her ability.

We went to the Shake Shack for a early dinner in the square, which was a first for me and such a good choice. We sat inside as the weather was just beginning to turn miserable and scoffed our ShakeBurgers with a Shake made Lemonade. So yummy and not too greasy. Just enough to send us on our way. Also they got my name wrong, which i expect now but they genuinely seemed to think my name was ‘Cray’ not Gray...

We then headed back on over to the Shaftesbury Avenue an got a bubble tea, killing some time before the show started. As per usual i played it safe with a Lychee and White Peach mixer, but will also recommend their Passionfruit and Cucumber mixer. 

Tickets in hand we went in the side entrance to take our seats on the balcony in seat 17 (a prime number) and 18. 

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, was the first proper book i read aged 10 (roughly), i could relate with the main character more than i would like to admit and the book was so logically and simply written that it was something i read two or three times a year til aged 14 or so. When it opened at the National Theatre i knew it was something that would appeal to me, after being moved to the Apollo Theatre we booked it. After that i tried not to read it before we went to go see it, because i did not want to keep comparing it to the book. I think now we have seen it, i will read it again.

 I found in the end it was better being in seats on the balcony because they drew and projected pictures onto the floor, as well as building a train set. And for such a small stage they created a large environment as each scene would come forward and then move back for the next one.

 A calm day was just what was needed and now having a temporary phone to use makes everything so much easier, even though it may not be a smart phone.

Traipsing in Hyde Park.

Monday was so hot in London, just when i think the Bristish summer is begging to fizzle out the heat cranks back up again. We met in Paddington just after eleven and went to the tube line to Bakerloo. Being my usual self when topping up my Oyster card I dropped my phone. Crashing to the floor it went, me thinking nothing of it as I drop it every other day. But today my phone was not feeling to invinceable and smashed, but not just skin deep exposing the LED and making the screen unresponsive. This rocketed my anxiety for the rest of the day. Not ideal.

We went to the Breakfast Club in Soho, which just seems to be my first port of call always when i go into town around midday, for my fix of american pancakes, berries and maple syrup. Unfortunately, i accidentally put my camera on to a weird setting which made all my photos near black. After another little fit of panic and regaining the peace of mind i realised that i had not broken my camera lens, no. 

We then wanted to go to a book shop, but later found it was closed due to refurbishments. Nevertheless, we went to Hyde Park and walk the entire width of the park along the Serpentine in the late afternoon sun. 

Since i was not in London last summer, and i missed the atmosphere of Londoners whilst the 2012 Games were on; but if i were to imagine what is was like, then that day walking through the park is  was what i would imagine. 

On are last stop in the park we went to the Serpentine Pavilion, which i always go to each summer but almost missed it this year. I am glad i did not because it was one of my favourites (and one on the smallest), although the red glass structure from 2010 would be my all time favourite because inside they had red smeg fridges to match behind the bar.

When i got back home i was very tired because i had spent a lot of the day panicking and getting hysterical because i had lost control and contact without my phone. i had always hoped i would not react to hopelessly to being without my phone, but i am not. 

And i am also very aware that my writing style has dramatically changed and i think this is because i just finished reading the Perks of Being a Wallflower, which i loved.

Quick Catch Up?

Long time, no see. Or so it seems. Having not posted since getting my new job which; few things seem to have changed. In my absence i received my a level results, of which were below my expectations at BBC, although i was still accepted to Queen Mary’s for two weeks time which i am ecstatic about. However at the moment it still does not seem a reality, and i am in no way prepared. 

I think i am just beginning to come out of a ‘dark’ phase again, this being what i use to refer to the parts of my life. It is always difficult to explain to people what these dark phases are, but i mostly just compare them to how Charlie (from Perks of Being a Wallflower) describes his ‘getting bad’ again; where overall you are sad and lonely but you can still be happy all at the same time. I use the word ‘dark’, the way one would describe an agent  going dark - no contact or response to the outside world. 

I hope that going to university which a fresh environment will help and i will stand on my own two feet again. I went to visit a friend who had already moved into her dorm at Central Saint Martens, as they start really early. I have also started posting photos on another blog stream called The Shutter Gunner (because shutter bug just seemed to feminine when referring to myself), this is where i hope to share single photos with less of an essay attached.

I also had a break in Rock near Padstow in Cornwall. This gave me opportunity to try out my new lens and new subjects as rural settings are not something i am usually keen on photographing. I am sure there will be a litter of post to follow of snaps i want to share of that trip and an update on how my photo album is coming along (keeping putting off sending a batch of photos to the developers in fear of how big the bill will be when i go pick them up).

Tomorrow, with a day off work i took up the opportunity to go for afternoon tea with a friend i have not seen all summer and then hope to meet with the Master’s Mate (if we can strangle her away from her new life at CSM).

New Job.

This week I started my new job, nothing too ground breaking, a retail job for the remainder of summer. Because it is a small contract I am not given a clothing allowance to buy a uniform from the shop, consequently they asked me to wear dark trousers, a neutral top, no logos and no doctor martens. This posed a problem for me.

Firstly I have two pairs of shoes (I always feel like Alex Day when I say this) - my beloved patent black doctor martens which I live in and a pair of navy converse, an essential. Both shoes did not comply to the requirements therefore I needed to buy a new pair of shoes. 

Secondly, I do not own trousers, or jeans or any plain leggings. Therefore had to buy a pair of trousers too. 

And finally, the majority of my tops are either branded with a tv show, carry an excentric pattern or have a print. Therefore I had to buy a new top. 

All in all I know they try to make it easy for me by letting me where 'my own clothes' but ... nay. 

So after trawling round clothing shops, I picked an outfit inspired by a friend who also works in retail. Basically, just tried to find an outfit identical to hers. 

So here are the results. 

Shirt top from Mint Velvet - £39 (reduced from £59)

I feel like this is quite a grown up shirt, which I a trend I have noticed in my own opinions more and more. Usually I dress like a seven year old in a pinny, scruffy shoes and an awful combination of patterns and colors. However I feel like my tastes are growing with my age now, and I do not think Iike it. When trying to look for something neutral and simple, my mind always goes straight to Mint Velvet and The White Company. So trusty. 

Trousers from Model&Co. - £24 

Having not owned a pair of trousers for a few years now with the exception of trousers/jeans for previous jobs, I found this to be the hardest task. M&Co. have many a questionable item in store, however there trousers provide a staple and simple look with thin stretchy material - they seemed ideal for work. 

Shoes from Topshop - £18 (reduced from £35) 

Even more rarely than trousers do I buy shoes, so this was quite a novel experience. Running into a big Topshop in a near by town centre because no shop in my town supplies shoes in stock for size nine, I picked up the last pair of these shoes from the sale. Although in small stores they never have my size, they always have my shoe size in the sale in larger stores. They are comfy and I have spent the last couple days breaking them in dog walking, and they are neutral enough to wear to work but may just work with my pinafore too. In these photos i think the colour may look a little more tan than in real life.

Other Snaps.

These were just another collection of photos that i always want with me.

Ice cream

Market stalls

A bordered up house on our way up to the hotel

The every changing view from the hotel at night

Miles of sunflower fields on the bus back to Pisa